Siento que he olvidado cómo se escribe, cómo se habla. Que no puedo publicar una frase sin introducir cinco palabras grandilocuentes de jerga posmoderna que demuestren lo que he leído. Así que tengo que aprender a hablar otra vez, a escribir otra vez.
Estoy leyendo Sister Outsider, de Audre Lorde. Escalofríos como en los viejos tiempos. Hacía dos semanas que no leía nada. Me gustaría ser capaz de sentir el resto de las cosas de la vida como siento las palabras. Pero todo lo convierto en literatura.
And of course I am afraid, because the transformation of silence into language and action is an act of self-revelation, and that always seems fraught with danger. But my daughter, when I told her of our topic and my difficulty with it, said, “Tell them about how you’re never really a whole person if you remain silent, because there’s always that one little piece inside you that wants to be spoken out, and if you keep ignoring it, it gets madder and madder and hotter and hotter, and if you don’t speak it out one day it will just up and punch you in the mouth from the inside.”
(...)
And it is never without fear — of visibility, of the harsh light of scrutiny and perhaps judgment, of pain, of death. But we have lived through all of those already, in silence, except death. And I remind myself all the time now that if I were to have been born mute, or had maintained an oath of silence my whole life long for safety, I would still have suffered, and I would still die. It is very good for establishing perspective.
(...)
The fact that we are here and that I speak these words is an attempt to break that silence and bridge some of those differences between us, for it is not difference which immobilizes us, but silence. And there are so many silences to be broken.Audre Lorde: "The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action"
Lo que me deja tiritando, tratándose de ti, es lo de las dos semanas sin leer...
Yo a veces me pregunto en qué estaba pensando cuando escogí una carrera de comunicación con lo que me cuesta (especialmente) la expresión oral :S. Lo notaba mucho cuando me tocaba hablar en inglés, pero últimamente me cuesta arrancar hasta en castellano así que parece que se me están acabando las excusas ;).